Kohl and the Gang

The Big Three in Kohl’s world are not named LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.  No, Kohl does not count those NBA players among his friends.  Besides, Kohl is still of the traditional belief that that only teams, and not collections of selfish superstars, can win championships.

Kohl nevertheless has his own collection of super stars.  “The Big Three” in Kohl’s world are those friends that have managed to most consistently capture that most elusive thing called his undivided attention.  They are (1) Marty the Moose, (2) Sophie the Giraffe and (3) Bruce the Oak Tree.

Let’s meet our winners:

MARTY THE MOOSE

Utilizing his strategic location on top of Kohl’s car seat, Marty and Kohl did not hit it off immediately, but persistence paid for Marty as Kohl eventually came around.   Marty is always there to reassure him that everything will be fine as Kohl begrudgingly gets into his car seat to go to doctor’s appointments, the park, physical therapy or wherever.  As long as Marty is there, everything will be okay.

Marty is also a proud American moose who distrusts foreigners, particularly the French, which has put him at odds with Kohl’s next favorite friend, Sophie the Giraffe.  Take a zealous patriotism, mix it with a distrust of the French, and sprinkle in some jealousy, and you get utter disdain.

This infighting at Chateau du Chrestman is regrettable, and we are working to make amends between Marty and Sophie.

SOPHIE THE GIRAFFE

Anyone with children ages 0 – 10 is undoubtedly familiar with Sophie, a charming French giraffe who, according to her packaging, was born in Paris in the year 1961.  So for over 50 years, Sophie has been at once entertaining children all over the world while also boggling the minds of their parents as to why they find her so entertaining.  After all, she is nothing more than a squeaky toy seemingly no different from scores of others on the market.  But for reasons beyond the understanding of many-a-parent, kids are enamored with her.

Perhaps it is her exotic French accent that is so appealing.  Or maybe she has some mystical connection with any human being under the age of two that is only understood by Sophie and child.  Either way, Kohl’s dad is not sure he can trust her and thinks Marty may be on to something.  Nevertheless, Sophie comes in awfully handy to prevent melt downs and cause young Kohl to smile for pictures.  So, we will keep her around.

But if she gets out of line, there is someone else at Chateau du Chrestman who has expressed a keen interest in “playing” with Sophie:

In Ancient Rome, you got thrown to the lions.  At the Chateau, the punishment is no less harsh.

BRUCE THE OAK TREE

Like many young men, Kohl enjoys the great outdoors, particularly the front porch of Chateau du Chrestman where he can stare at his good friend Bruce the Oak Tree.  If left to his own devices, Kohl would sit and stare at Bruce all day.  Bruce is old, wise and probably has numerous stories to tell Kohl.  Both Bruce and Kohl yearn for the day that Kohl can swing from one of Bruce’s branches in a tire swing.

MAHALIA JACKSON

THE CEILING FAN

… the Chrestmans are pro-ceiling fans.

KISSES FROM MOM

Of late, Kohl has come to enjoy several pecks on his cheek from Mommy.  His left cheek in particular

His reaction is enough for Mommy to forgive him from routinely pooping on her.

Kohl celebrated his freedom by attacking his first Memorial Day weekend with the same intensity that a Marine battalion conducts an amphibious assault. And speaking of things that are amphibious, he got to go swimming for the first time while visiting his G-Daddy and CeCe in Lake Charles.

So it turns out that he loves swimming just about as much as he hates bath time.  Move over, Abbie the dog.  Your belly-flopping exploits in G-Daddy and CeCe’s pool are no longer the only show in town.  Yet another example of this attention-stealing tiny person raining in on your parade.

Swimming wore this tiny person out, but he rested up on the trip back to New Orleans so he could take his first trip to the zoo, which he has been wanting to do for months.  After getting strapped in and ready to go, he started to grow impatient when his Mommy decided to snap 1,823 pictures before even entering the zoo.

Alright, Mommy, this is the closest thing to a smile you’re going to get.  Sophie the giraffe and I were ready to do this thing like 17 minutes ago.

Following picture #1,824, the Chrestman family finally made their way into the zoo and had a wonderful time.  When Kohl was not receiving unsolicited factoids from his Mommy, such as why flamingos are pink, he took some time to pose with a family of gorillas.

He apparently shares his Dad’s fascination with the gorilla

After a busy Memorial Day weekend, Kohl then settled back into his normal routine of waking his Mom and Dad up literally seconds after they fall asleep, then again only minutes before their alarm clock goes off.  His domination continues.